bullies

i just want me back

don’t talk to me
i know you don’t want to talk to me

and i just want me back i want to talk to me again no one cares that the old me is gone
because they stole me,
don’t care about me,

Lost me.

They don’t even know that they lost me for me.

you don’t care that i’m a shell
i’m not worth time anyone’s time anymore
and everyone’s pushing me off their calendar one by one by one

I wish i could go back into the three years i lost and scoop myself up and take myself home.

(why don’t you care that i am a shell)
there is nothing left here, she climbed out left empty here

(put herself back in the happy years
before she met them)

and you’ll love the people who made me incapable of loving myself
of trusting anyone
more than you’ll ever miss me (her)

they may as well have taken the rest of me
and i have spent a year wishing they did
(bullies always win).

asleep

I can’t understand           the words in this song

written in different languages    and    emotions

but my shoulders are  shaking           regardless

and my eyes feel like they could spill over  soon

but it’s okay     because I think I like this melody

and      I think             I could listen to it all night

teamed with the sound of   my steady whimpers

it is quite calming.      I could fall    asleep to this

I could      fall     asleep           alone           to this

The writer

If I were a sentence,

You’d be the novel.

If I were a river,

You’d be the ocean.

If I were paint,

You’d be the painting.

Everything I do,

And everything I say,

Leads me  to you.

I can take another path

Or halt myself at once.

But a painter

Cannot stop painting.

A river

Cannot stop flowing.

And a writer

Cannot stop writing.

And I cannot stop

Coming back to you.