space filler

i don’t want to care about anyone anymore
don’t want to open my blinds

everyone finds out what i am anyway
nothing worth anything
is what i am anyway

you’re talking to me again
because I’m the next new thing (again)
worth a few seconds of your time again
(my sympathies)

tell me tell me everything
so i can be a waste of space filled with your space
until i’m too embarrassing to be around again
ugly, ugly, ugly, no wonder you hate me
your friends think my face is embarrassing my body is embarrassing
no wonder you hate me

my sense of self is dirt under your nails,
ticking, thinking about what was said about me (i heard it all)
and i sit quietly between words that no one wants to hear,
boiling, thinking (hollow forever)

no wonder you all hate me