someone’s nobody

right now i am living in memories
in more than one place,
crying in more than one time
happy at least once at least one place one time once

before i could see everything
(kaleidoscope vision),
watching myself be her, fiery but someone

a someone back then wondering who this nobody is
(care about me care about me me please)
i always thought nobody was watching me
in the dark corner of my dark room, dark thoughts
making sure i made it somewhere,
closing my eyes at night
drying my eyes at night

i was right
i am nobody
and nobody cared about me

(i wasn’t the kind of angel she was expecting,
i’m sorry)


thankless (careless)

i am done throwing adoration and care into a thankless void
and being met with silence

an expired ticket for respect
never spent

hands that butterfly my ribs,
dissect my heart
just to see if I would feel it

the devil said to you I don’t, but I do
I feel it all

the void laughs itself to sleep