normal

I’m listening to the same song
over and over and over and over and .. .
and I’m smothering her.

my hands don’t pick up the phone –
can’t pick up the phone –
like they used to..
static, I’m stupid, stupid,
broken.

I thought maybe one day I could be
normal
. .. enough ..

but I’ve grown used to the idea
of leaving,
of letting down
easy,
of not being missed.