no lights

my mouth tastes burned
and I hardly know who I am when I look in the mirror
any more
I keep getting further
and further
from who I want to be (or who I was)
and I keep telling myself to stay
or to move on
or to change
but I keep finding myself in a dark place
where there are no lights
surrounded by people
people telling me I look better with make up
and that I’m not fun if I’m not funny
or that it’s not okay
to be what I am
so my mouth burns every night
and my throat itches
I thought I wanted to be here
but I don’t know how to turn around
now that I know
that I’m not where I should be

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