today I lost faith

Today I lost faith in love,

Unconditional and earned.

It just doesn’t exist.

Or maybe it does,

Maybe it is just simply

That no one loves me.

 

Today I lost faith in family.

It’s not really a sanctuary;

It is a war – a battle.

It does not consist of love

Nor understanding,

But an endless loneliness.

 

Today I lost faith in life,

Happiness and everything.

It doesn’t really matter,

And it never did.

I do not deserve these things,

They are not for the cold hearted.

Although, it would be nice,

I suppose,

Just to feel happy.

Or loved.

They let me play my music

I thought you were one of a kind,

Someone I could never replace.

But, you know,

They let me play my music

Right until the rest arrived.

Let me stay silent for a while

While I listened to them talk.

More importantly,

They didn’t laugh at me

When I asked silly questions.

Suddenly I became very aware,

And realised I am not different.

There are people who think.

They think just like I do.

About the places we’ll never touch,

Or places we’ll never see again.

With them, everything is real;

Dreams, magic and possibilities.

You didn’t believe in me.

You didn’t believe in my dreams.

My music is never playing,

Not when guests are about to arrive.

I am always second best

And all my dreams will never come true.

I guess this is the price I pay

For not being friends with them,

But being friends with you.

 

Insignificant Details

My love has green eyes

And the flowers are dead.

My water went warm,

But I don’t really care.

My jumper has a hole in it

And the cold air is getting in.

Millions of helpless ants

Are crushed under my feet.

Another message to you

Goes ignored with no reply,

But I don’t really care.

We haven’t spoken in a while,

But I forgot how to miss you

As I was living this life.

A life full of small

And insignificant details.

But I hope people will tell me

“I miss you, come back.”

But they don’t and they won’t.

I think about this

While I should be doing something else,

Thinking about something else,

But really, I don’t care.

New Plot

New ideas and new adventures.

Fresh characters and chapters.

New vocabulary with meaning.

Different life lessons

Are on the way.

Things are about to change

And people are drifting away.

Today I took down our photo.

And today I accepted the new plot.

the humidity

You want to be sad

Like the rain.

Or happy

Like the sun.

Maybe warm and cosy

Like summer,

Cold and heartless

Like winter.

Unforgettable and destructive

Like the hail,

Or colourful and magical

Like the rainbow.

You want to be all this,

But you’re the humidity,

Stuck between warm and rain.