now

the people who knew me know me differently now

and i have this sour taste in my throat that tastes a lot like hate 

but i found salt burning my cheeks again the other night, the same question breaking my heart

i wonder if you would know me how you did

if you would want to

if you ever really tried anyway

born Wrong

she’s scared of me
I smothered her
and now I’m a monster
for giving —- space
did I do something
scary?

and I’m tired of hearing
that I did wrong
made it wrong
born wrong

my marks on her skin
now
all hers now
take it all from me
again

scared of me,
walking on egg shells,
broken, angry, useless

what did I do
when did I do
anything
scary?

a lie 2

can’t live without me,
said like a secret
not a lie to keep me existing,
a back up to your first choice
and your other secret

like you
I wish I could pretend
wish I could make people think
that I am good

‘I can’t live without you’
until you did.