resurrection

it was bad
take me back, i am a shell
filling a void of time
with scrunched up fists
and dependence

worse
a ticking clock, a bomb
thinking
you had a conspiracy against me
it was all wrong

the hospital tag on my sink
a memory trophy
of time overlapping,
unending, unwinding, forever
i keep resurrecting

more than you

I think she cares
more than you

you are ruining
everything ——again.
born through a crack in time,
mistake,
a butterfly effect

she cares more than you,
but she didn’t lose sleep
——————————-and herself
she didn’t force herself awake,
slippers on the bed,
vomit in her throat
a nurse saying it’s unusual to think like this

she isn’t the one
who needs to forgive forget
she isn’t the one who cares more
—-isn’t the one who cares at all