loss

How scared was I all this time
that I had lost you
——–….
myself.
I wandered for months,
but, now,
we’re sitting in the park at night,
driving to the beach
in the dark
….
but
I am still scared
that I might lose you
——-(and myself, again)

my song

I told you to put on my song
and I closed my eyes, swaying
in the middle of the floor
with fog swallowing me whole.
I begged no one to look at me
but I didn’t want to dance alone,
I wished that my wings were real
and that, at the end of the night,
I didn’t have to take off my make up,
that I could keep dancing there
as an angel
for just a few more hours.

someone else

The windows were down
and I laughed with my hair in my mouth,
my hand spread out into the night.
And the beach was so cold
with cigarette smoke in my face
and the smell on my fingers,
my feet spinning around on the sand.
I closed my eyes into the dark,
your voices drifting through me
and I’ve never been so happy,
never felt so beautiful.
How did I ever hate this life?
How, when we were on the beach
in the dead of night,
our footprints waiting for the tide?
How, when I can put my arm out the window,
laughing,
forgetting,
becoming someone else?

spotlight

I used to want to wear short sleeves in the summer
and I wanted to be someone important
but now I crave sitting in the park at night,
made safe only by the moon
and the dim lights spotlighting the oval
with one intention and a bottle of wine:
please let me forget that
I ended up being
no one.